Are you prepared for an eventual zombie apocalypse? You had better be, because Night of the Living Dead could someday be more than just a movie. As for me, I’m not worried. I am also fully prepared. But I will tell you this: there are some definite things I’m going to miss when the zombies take over.
Believe it or not, the CDC put out a guide for people who need help getting through the zombie apocalypse a few years ago. Some say the guide was tongue-in-cheek and was meant to be more of a general survival guide. I am not so sure. Who among us truly knows what goes on in the minds of CDC officials?
At any rate, let’s quit postulating and get to the real reason for this post. Here are five things I will definitely miss when the zombie apocalypse finally arrives:
1. The Internet
I’ll admit it. I am hooked on the internet. It is the engine that drives my employment. It is the means by which I watch TV, communicate with family members living far away, keep track of my favorite sports teams, and on and on. I will miss it when it’s gone.
I have come to the conclusion that even revolutionary services like Blazing Hog 4G rural internet will not exist once zombies rule the world. They won’t allow it. They will destroy the infrastructure by knocking it down, blowing it up, or possibly even eating it.
2. Electricity
Electricity is also something zombies won’t allow. They need total darkness to make their invasion as creepy as possible. I’m sure the power will go out at the start of the invasion, and I will miss it terribly. I am comfortably accustomed to having electricity in my home. I’m not looking forward to kerosene lamps and canned food.
3. Grocery Stores
Speaking of canned food, it will only last for so long. I won’t be able to run to the grocery store during the zombie apocalypse. Its shelves will be empty of all but a few scraps and a legion of hungry rodents looking for nourishment.
I can hunt and fish. I can gather, too. But I don’t like doing any of it. I am not looking forward to the day when I am responsible for what I eat. Maybe I should come up with a solution to store several hundred Snickers bars.
4. My Friends
I’m guessing that, during the zombie apocalypse, I’ll start losing my friends one-by-one. After all, isn’t this one of the major goals explained in the zombie handbook? Zombies turn other people into zombies. That’s how it works.
I am going to miss my friends. I’m going to miss good conversations and hours long Sabacc games. I am going to miss jam sessions and sending stupid text messages back and forth. Hopefully, none of my friends will target me for a zombie transition.
5. My Mind
Finally, I can only assume that I will have lost my mind at whatever point I choose to believe the zombie apocalypse is real. How can I believe it otherwise? That being the case, I’m going to miss my mind. I am rather fond of all its capabilities. I enjoy thinking things through; I enjoy learning; I enjoy sharing knowledge with others.
For the record, I don’t believe a zombie apocalypse will ever take place. It’s the stuff of fantasy novels, films, and TV shows. But still, thinking about the possibilities is enough to remind anyone just how fragile modern life is. Perhaps we truly are unprepared for a major disaster that brings things to a screeching halt.